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Tag: anti-bullying

  • Pay It Forward with Kindness

    Pay It Forward with Kindness

    I recently heard about someone in a Tim Horton’s drive-thru paying for the coffee of the driver behind them. I thought it was such a nice thing to do for a complete stranger. I also couldn’t help but think about how great it would be if more people did kind things for others without expectations of owing them back.

    Couldn’t our society use a couple more acts of kindness? It all starts with one person, and that person could be you. Small acts of kindness can make a huge difference, even if it may seem like they aren’t. Something as simple as smiling at someone accompanied by a good morning greeting can really make someone’s day.

    On a larger scale, volunteering for different charitable causes can contribute to a larger issue. Many organizations rely on volunteers to bring about social change. You will be helping others who really need it and doing it out of the goodness of your heart.

    Paying it forward with kindness is a wonderful, selfless thing to do. It doesn’t have to require any money and doesn’t have to take a lot of time. There is no reward greater than doing nice things for others and making others happy. Although the reward isn’t in the form of money or recognition, the way you will feel about yourself after you pay it forward with kindness will be a reward in it itself. The key to paying it forward is that it comes from a genuine and sincere place within you. You should want to do kind things for others not because you think you will get something out of it, but for the betterment of the other person.

    The last time somebody held the door open for you, you probably felt gratitude. Maybe you made sure to hold the door open for the person that was behind you. Even a small gesture of kindness can make you feel great and make the world seem like a better place. Often kindness works in a chain reaction effect. It can start with one person doing something kind for another person and then that person wanting do to something kind for another, and so on and so forth. It can be almost infectious, in a good way.

    Doing kind things for others can also help strengthen the community. It allows you to connect with another person even if only for a short period of time. It brings people closer together and allows them to co-operate. People begin to act as a support system to one another and look out for each other’s best interests. So, today, why not try paying it forward and doing something kind for someone else? I guarantee that you will feel awesome after!

  • Bullying and Self Esteem: The Bullied and the Bully

    Bullying and Self Esteem: The Bullied and the Bully

    Bullying continues to be a pressing threat among students, one that unfortunately is dismissed, misunderstood or ignored. The potential consequences of bullying, however, including dangerously low self-esteem (which can lead to serious, lifelong issues for victims), suggest that we have to address bullying more directly in an attempt to put a stop to it once and for all.

    If you are being bullied and experiencing problems of low self-esteem, you should remember that you are not alone. Many individuals are bullied at some point in their lives, and most, if not all, individuals experience low self-esteem. It’s likely even your bully faces this problem from time to time, which could be a reason why they are picking on you (in order to avoid some of the root causes of their own insecurity). Understanding that your experiences are similar to those of others is a great first step towards addressing bullying.

    A principle to live by—not just in situations of bullying, but whenever you’re interacting with others—is one of mutual respect. Try to empathize with the needs of others, while at the same time treating them with compassion, especially when they are going through a tough time. Communication is key: if you understand where people are coming from, you can more effectively respond to their actions. In situations of bullying, this actually includes the bully as well. A bully’s problem doesn’t give them an excuse to mistreat others at all, but knowing about this can shed light onto some of the potential solutions for conflicts. You could end up helping them in the end, rather than allowing the cycle to continue.

    Overall, bullying is not an acceptable way to manifest low self-esteem. Bullying, even if at face value, can seem like a nuisance and can equate to the physical, verbal, or emotional harassment of another individual. This is certainly not an okay way to treat others, and moreover can lead to some dangerous consequences. It is important to put an end to the bullying as soon as possible, hopefully before anyone gets hurt.

    If you are the bullied, stay strong, and know that any hurtful comments or actions are likely coming from a deeper place of insecurity for the bully him/herself. That being said, it’s absolutely important to reach out if the problem persists: speak to a friend or family member that you trust, seek counseling from a teacher or a guidance office, or even contact a help line (like Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868). Low self-esteem as a result of bullying can escalate into serious anxiety or depressive disorders, sometimes even self-harm. Don’t let it get to that point, and don’t wait until it’s too late.

    If you are the bully, seriously consider the impact that your actions have on other individuals. If you are going out of your way to make others feel small, maybe you should take a look at your own life, problems, and insecurities before interfering in those of others. In light of the potential consequences that bullying can have on victims, respecting others should certainly be one of your top priorities.

     

  • Bullying Is Everyone’s Problem

    Bullying Is Everyone’s Problem

    There is no doubt that bullying is a problem which has been around for a long time – within all forms of human interaction, there have always been those that not only feel superior to others but feel the need to demonstrate this at any cost. Where bullying was once mostly confined to the schoolyard, now more and more children are plugged in to the internet. This has made the problem significantly worse, becoming more insidious, dangerous and sometimes even fatal.

    By now, most people will have heard about the B.C. girl who, having been relentlessly bullied for a number of years online, combined with her allegedly fragile state of mental health, felt it was necessary to end her own life. Sadly, she is certainly not the first to do this and will not be the last. While it is impossible to find any shred of positivity in the current situation, the fact is that social media allows more people to become aware of the severity of the problem. Although bullying will likely never be completely eliminated, this may lead to concrete measures being taken to severely diminish it over time.

    While it is obvious that the bully and the bullied are the central players, the problem of bullying is far-reaching, affecting family, friends, entire schools and workplaces. It is no surprise that the majority of people who are aware that some form of bullying is taking place are more likely to ignore it rather than take action. However, it is a fact that by becoming involved, whether simply standing up to the bully on behalf of the victim or making friends with the victim (who are often in great need of friends), the bully will think twice about his or her actions. Of course, this is not always the case and sometimes a greater degree of intervention is needed.

    The first step for anyone being bullied, or for those that suspect it is happening to someone, is to speak up. It is widely believed, particularly among kids, that ‘telling’ is akin to ‘tattling’ which is just not the case. The fear also may be that by telling someone they may inadvertently make the problem worse by angering the bully. While this is a genuine concern, it certainly should not be a reason to remain silent. Making bullying known through Facebook or some other form of social media may not always be the best idea as this can leave the victim open to even more abuse and torment from anonymous comments made by online bullies and ‘trolls’. Even if the victim is reluctant to speak up, they can still get support through one of the many anti-bullying organizations that exist online such as www.kidshelpphone.ca, www.pinkshirtday.ca and www.antibullying.net.

    While it is obviously the victim of bullying that requires the most immediate help, one shouldn’t forget that by letting them continue their behaviour, the bully’s future can also be put in jeopardy. It is rare that a bully simply bullies for the sake of it and by getting help early on they can avoid problems later in life. According to Free From Bullies, 60% of adults aged 18-24 who once bullied end up with criminal convictions, a fact that can have an effect on society and the economy as a whole.

    There is no simple solution to the problem of bullying and it is very sad that even adults who should know better can be just as guilty as children. The problem will not be stamped out overnight, but through talking, understanding and, most importantly, taking action, we can make small steps to fight back.

  • No More Bullying

    No More Bullying

    In elementary school, everyone is undergoing changes developing themselves in different ways. Because of the pressures of growing up, some people learn to adapt and cope in successful ways, such as by finding an outlet for their emotions in activities like competitive sports, clubs, or even just seeking friendship and support from others. Unfortunately, some people have negative coping mechanisms that lead them to find more destructive outlets for their emotions. Sometimes a negative coping mechanism will reveal itself as bullying. This bullying can take many forms, from verbal abuse to stealing from people and even to physical abuse. Bullying is a problem that needs to be addressed with the bully and with the victim because both are affected.

    When people are bullied they can feel sad and left out, as well as feel that they have something wrong with them that results in the bullying. If you are being bullied, the most important thing to remember is that it is not your fault that you are being picked on. It may not be safe to confront the bully themselves, but by informing your principal, teachers, parents and friends, you can create a support network to protect yourself from the person or people that are harassing you. Also remember that the law is on your side when it comes to bullying and any evidence that you can get for proving that the person or people are harassing you will be invaluable. Try to have a friend present with you at all times so that you have a witness and a protector.

    The person or people who do the bullying have emotional wounds themselves that need to be addressed by a counselor or other qualified professional. Most of the time bullies have problems at home or problems with other aspects of their life story that is causing them to act out in negative ways. These people may be viewed as “bad people” but the reality is that they probably have a serious insecurity or deep emotional wounding that is preventing them from growing up in a healthy way. By talking to someone about their feelings, they can start to heal.

    By reporting a bully, you are doing everyone a favor because that person is probably bullying more people than just you. This negative situation may be painful for you, but don’t worry –  bullying is becoming more and more of an important issue in schools, so when you do speak out it will be received by a well-prepared audience.

    Remember that you are not alone and your voice will be heard.

  • Stop Bullying – You’ll Have More Friends!

    The issue of bullying has been talked about a lot over the past year in the media and in schools. In particular, the bullying of LGBT youth has led to many unfortunate cases where suicide felt like the only way out. Are you or someone you know being bullied? Are you a bully? Ask yourself these important questions and you can make a difference in by taking steps to change your behaviour or helping those who you see being bullied by others.

    If you have bullied others, think of the reasons why you did it. Did you want to look cool in front of your friends? How did it make you feel after you bullied the person? One of the best ways to stop this behaviour is to put yourself in the shoes of the person being bullied. If you were called those names, reflect on how you would feel. Often, realizing the power of your words is the best medicine to stop such actions.

    Don’t put yourself into a box – just because you may have bullied people before, it does not mean you still have to do it now. The power to change is within all of us! By changing your behaviour, you will positively impact everyone around you. Be the person in your school who sets an example and says no to being a bully. Change starts with one person and grows larger from there.

    If you have been bullied, or are currently being bullied, reach out to someone you care about. If you feel like they would not understand, or you don’t feel comfortable talking to them, there are many anonymous and free services where people are ready to help you at any time of the day. Kids Help Phone is a great example. Even though it may seem futile, talking with someone and having a human connection with someone who wants to listen to you and help you is extremely beneficial to your mental health. Someone who is “outside” of your situation can give you advice that you may not hear from someone that is close to you. The anonymity of a service like Kids Help Phone allows you to be completely honest about your thoughts and feelings without the fear of being judged.

    You can also volunteer to help with programs that raise awareness about the effects of bullying, or create your own campaign in your school. Awareness of the issue will give others the confidence to speak up when they see someone being bullied.

    If you need help, please do not hesitate to reach out to someone. There is strength in numbers, and you will get through this.

  • Anti-Bullying Viral Video!

    Anti-Bullying Viral Video!

    We recently came across this video by poet Shane Koyczan and just had to share. It has gone viral in the past few weeks due to its powerful anti-bullying message. Shane was bullied growing up, too, so his message is even more powerful. As he told The Globe and Mail in 2011, “I got bullied a lot when I was a kid, and because of that I thought for the most part that I didn’t really have a childhood – I had to grow up so quick and there was no real enjoyment in that for me.”

    Unfortunately, bullying is still a major problem in schools all around the world. We can all make a difference by pledging to not bully and to speak up when you see that someone is.

    According to Wired Magazine, Shane kneads his experiences into powerful poetry. His piece about bullying is now a short animation. It rises above the bruises left by words and the hiding places pills can’t provide, all the way up to a place of beauty. The video is a collaborative piece, created using 20 second segments contributed by animators and artists. It will surely prompt reflection and discussion. It also promotes more formal anti-bullying efforts.

    In terms of what he hopes people take away from his video, Shane told the Huffington Post, “Just that sense of connectivity. As much as you may feel alone in this, you’re really not. There’s people who go through this every day. In a lot of ways, there’s more of us than there are of them.”

    Shane, born in Yellowknife and raised in Penticton, was even a part of the opening ceremonies of the Vancouver Winter Olympics in 2010! We love to see Canadians making a difference in the world. Watch this video and share it with your friends.

  • Regarding Bullying

    Regarding Bullying

    In high school, people undergo changes and are developing themselves in different ways. Due to the pressures of growing up, some people learn to adapt and cope in successful ways – such as by finding an outlet for their emotions in activities like competitive sports, clubs, individual pursuits like running or writing, or even just seeking friendship and support from others. Unfortunately, some people have negative coping mechanisms that lead them to find more destructive outlets for their emotions. Sometimes a negative coping mechanism will reveal itself as bullying. This bullying can take many forms, from verbal abuse of other people to stealing from people to physically abusing others. Bullying is a problem that needs to be addressed both with the bully and with the victim because the consequences can present themselves in different ways.

    When people are bullied they can feel sad and left out, as well as feel that they have something wrong with them that caused the bullying. These emotional wounds can take years to heal, and so it is very important to try to resolve the bullying situation as soon as possible. If you are being bullied, the most important thing to remember is that it is not your fault and that you can stand up and speak out. It may not be safe to confront the bully themselves, but by informing your principal, teachers, parents and friends, you can create a support network to protect yourself from the person or people that are harassing you. Remember that the law is on your side when it comes to bullying and any evidence that you can get for proving that the person or people are harassing you will be invaluable if you need to confront the issue with others. Try to have a friend present with you at all times so that you have a witness and a protector, or learn how to use your phone as a recording device so that you can audio record any verbal or physical abuse.

    The person or people who do the bullying have emotional wounds themselves that need to be addressed by a counselor or other qualified professional. Many times bullies have problems at home or problems with other aspects of their life that is causing them to act out in negative ways. These people may be viewed as “bad people” but the reality is that they probably have a serious insecurity or deep emotional wounding that is preventing them from growing up in a healthy way.

    By reporting a bully, you are doing everyone a favor because that person is probably bullying more people than just you. This negative situation may be painful for you, but don’t worry – bullying is becoming more and more of an important issue in schools. When you speak out, it will be received by a well-prepared and receptive audience. The issue of bullying is being covered by the media and there are more and more campaigns against it every day.

    You are not alone and your voice will be heard.