Tag: coping

  • Stress Recognition and Elimination

    Stress Recognition and Elimination

    Dealing with stress can be a struggle between light and dark, between hope and despair, and between what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes we are provoked by an event or a situation that creates an upsetting condition called stress. Stress is when we feel tension or pressure, as if in a dilemma. This condition can be easily remedied, however it does take practice to be able to fully overcome the stress.

    Recognizing stress is the first step, and this skill can be developed over time. Often it can be developed simply by saying out loud, “I am stressed out right now”. Being able to recognize your emotional state allows you to see your condition more objectively and to take a step back so that you may help yourself. There are always solutions to stress, and being able to pull yourself out of it is one key way of ensuring your overall happiness and well being. As we age, this skill of overcoming stress comes more naturally. However, it often does have to come from a devoted effort at recognizing and understanding how simple stress is to overcome.

    In extreme cases, there are conditions of stress that result in a psychiatric diagnosis of anxiety. This is often the result of an imbalanced brain chemistry, severe family tensions or severe anxiety-provoking situations like having been in a war. This condition is impressively frequent, with one in four Canadians having an anxiety disorder over their lifetime (anxietycanada.ca, 2013).

    In most cases, anxiety can easily be relieved by becoming conscious of when one is anxious or stressed and focusing how you can overcome the condition. Some people are soothed and made at ease by familiar things, familiar people, and familiar foods. Other people need to practice certain routines that put them back into a good head space. It is very important for people to identify things that make them feel good and to know that stress can be relieved by simply utilizing those de-stressing things, people, foods or routines. Sometimes, however, people can abuse this formula by resorting to things or foods that, as a by-product of their de-stressing effect, create secondary effects that are undesirable. This situation is commonly found among people who resort to drugs, alcohol or gambling to relieve their stress. This is called maladaptive coping because, instead of creating a relief from stress, it a major secondary effect like addiction or becoming overweight.

    It is important, when creating a stress-relieving formula, to choose a solution to stress that has positive side effects! Positive options for stress relief can include lighting candles and taking a warm bubble bath, exercising, taking a nap, talking to a friend or family member, making a healthy and nutritious meal, relaxing with friends, writing, reading, watching a favorite show or movie, and so much more. There are many ways to positively eliminate stress, so start practicing ways that work for you!

  • Coping with jealousy

    Coping with jealousy

    Jealousy occurs in most human relationships at one time or another. Whether your relationship is an intimate one, a friendship, or co-workers.

    For most teens there will come a day when you realize that one of your friends is jealous – whether it be of who you are, what you’ve done or something you have – and that this jealousy is hurting your friendship.Sometimes, when this happens,it feels like there is nothing you can do , but the good news is that there is. Don’t let jealousy spoil your relationships. Confront the problem and you may find  your relationship will  be back to normal much sooner than you think.

    Confront Your Friend

    You may find it difficult to walk up to your  friend and ask them what the problem is, but if you want to save your friendship you’ll have to do just that. Don’t approach them and ask why they are jealous of you (unless of course you want to appear totally conceited), just take some time alone with them and let them know that you’ve been feeling like there’s something been coming between you, and that you cherish their friendship.  If they refuse to respond, then use the opportunity to explain how you have been feeling. Chances are that something you say will strike a nerve and your friend will open up as well.

    Find a Solution

    When you figure out what is freaking  your friend, ask him or her what (s)he thinks would make the situation better. If, for example, (s)he say that (s)he feels like (s)he doesn’t get to spend any time with you because your off with your new friends from the swim team then maybe you could invite her along the next time or block off one day a week for just the two of you. Remember,  that whatever solution you decide on, needs to  be a compromise. Don’t limit your own talents or opportunities simply because your friend is unhappy. Try instead to include him or her in your new life and see how that works out.

    Practice Your Patience

    Even if you do get to the bottom of your friend’s jealousy you’ll probably  need to remain patient while (s)he works out their own emotions. Even if you can think of a compromise to help get your friendship back on track you can’t do the emotional work of getting over jealousy for your friend. You may even find there will be troubles up ahead, and you may need to chat with your friend again, remember to stay calm . If it turns out to be the same issue, tell your friend that you feel you have been sticking to the compromise. It may be that your friend is unable to see that, or (s)he didn’t really commit to the compromise and wanted you back all to him or herself. If this is the case then there’s not much you can do about it besides reiterate your offer to meet him or her half-way.

    Even the best of friendships can be affected by jealousy. This destructive emotion is rarely productive and can turn best friends into worst enemies. Before taking drastic action, chat with your jealous friend to see if the two of you can work out a compromise. If you can’t, be prepared to know exactly how far you will go to keep your friend – and how far you won’t.

    Remember, don’t limit your own talents or opportunities simply because your friend is unhappy