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  • Are You the Subject of a Nasty Gossip? How to Turn Things Around

    Are You the Subject of a Nasty Gossip? How to Turn Things Around

    Today, gossiping can be considered a national pastime. There are several reasons why people gossip. One is that people who engage in gossip feel privileged. Imagine seeing your not-so-favorite teacher in the middle of the road with a flat tire, cursing like a sailor. You can’t wait to share this with those who feel the same way about that teacher. It’s like you have the inside scoop and you’re telling everyone that this not-so-favorite teacher is not prim and proper after all.

    Another reason why people spread gossip is so they can feel better about themselves. Just picture getting into an exclusive movie premiere and you see a girl you don’t really like waiting desperately at the door to get in. You may feel it is not enough to see her like that—you want your friends to know you saw her in that situation, and you will probably even make something up, like she was being hysterical and bawling like a baby.

    However, what happens when you become the subject of a hurtful gossip? You’ll probably realize then, that gossip has an ugly side. Here are three ways to turn things around when the shoe is on the other foot:

    1) Find people who have your back. Don’t wallow in self-pity. Instead, talk to family, friends, and classmates who know the real you. Don’t hold anything back. Tell them that you are hurt by the rumor, and they will most likely provide you a shoulder to cry on. Eventually, with the right amount of support, you will find the strength to move forward.

    2) Confront the person who is spreading the rumor. If you have a clear idea of who is spreading gossip about you, talk to that person in a calm manner. Don’t flare up since this reaction may be something that he or she is waiting for. Instead, try to figure out why they are doing what they are doing and explain your side of the story. It could have been a simple case of miscommunication or misunderstanding.

    3) Let it die a natural death. If the gossip isn’t going away even after you have talked to the person who is spreading it, it would probably be best to ignore it and move on. At times, silence is the best defense. However, it is a different story when you feel you are being bullied; report the person to school authorities ASAP. Eventually, gossip that doesn’t elicit a reaction will die a natural death. What you can do for the meantime is to avoid gossiping yourself and lead by example. Remember to THINK when you feel the urge to gossip about other people. Is the story Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary, and Kind? If it is not any of these things, then stop.

    SOURCES:

    http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-science-of-gossip/

    http://www.2knowmyself.com/How_to_deal_with_people_who_gossip_about_you

    http://www.wsj.com/articles/what-to-do-when-you-are-the-subject-of-office-gossip-1412701581

    http://inspire99.com/10-deeper-ways-to-deal-with-a-rumor-gossip/

    http://www.youngandraw.com/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-gossip-in-a-positive-way/

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200810/the-8-laws-rumor-spread

  • Why Gossiping is Bad for You

    Why Gossiping is Bad for You

    Gossip is something that is very prevalent in high school, generally due to all of the changes that people are going through. With any luck, gossiping will diminish as you grow up and move on with your life. It is a type of conversation that is not very productive in terms of creating positive change in communities, and in fact is often the source of a lot of unnecessary harm and pain.

    An interesting quote I read recently said: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds gossip about people. Life is much too short to be lived talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up trouble that has no substance. If you don’t understand someone, ask questions. If you don’t agree with them, tell them. But don’t judge them behind their back to everyone else” –Entrepreneur Secrets 2012.

    This quote draws attention to the fact that there are often conversations that you would rather avoid, because they are nothing but mean-spirited and a waste of time. I disagree with the quote because I think that there is a time and a place for gossip. Often talking about other people is a way of understanding the social world that we live in, which is just as important as understanding anything else. Sometimes not talking about other people is a mistake because you don’t have an opportunity to digest what another person is about. People are interesting, and talking about them is not always a waste of time. The linchpin is the intention that you have when talking about other people. If you are attacking someone out of mean-spiritedness and to gain power over that individual, you must be bored or looking to “stir trouble” like the quote above says.

    I agree with the above mentioned quote in how they draw attention to the fact that not understanding someone should bring you to asking more questions. This is really true, because most of the time other people are misunderstood simply for lack of information. This is not something to capitalize on with gossip, but rather an opportunity to learn more about something that you don’t understand. A popular old adage states “don’t hate what you don’t understand”.

    In school and work situations, there will always be times when people will say or do things that you don’t agree with. It is during these situations that it is healthy to vent about the outcome of a certain conversation or event. The distinction to be made, however, is between attacking someone’s character and attacking their words or behaviours. There are relevant points and there are irrelevant points when talking about other people. If you are trying to capture them as an individual with pros and cons, this is usually a better approach than trying to twist them into a character with only cons. Most people are not evil, so spreading rumors and creating a monster out of someone else is simply mean and counter-productive.

  • Gossiping Is Bad For You!

    Gossiping Is Bad For You!

    Gossip is something that is very prevalent in high school, generally due to all of the changes that people are going through. With any luck, gossiping will diminish as you grow up and move on with your life. It is a type of conversation that is not very productive in terms of creating positive change in communities, and in fact is often the source of a lot of unnecessary harm and pain.

    An interesting quote I read recently said: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds gossip about people. Life is much too short to be lived talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up trouble that has no substance. If you don’t understand someone, ask questions. If you don’t agree with them, tell them. But don’t judge them behind their back to everyone else” –Entrepreneur Secrets 2012.

    This quote draws attention to the fact that there are often conversations that you would rather avoid, because they are nothing but mean-spirited and a waste of time. I disagree with the quote because I think that there is a time and a place for gossip. Often talking about other people is a way of understanding the social world that we live in, which is just as important as understanding anything else. Sometimes not talking about other people is a mistake because you don’t have an opportunity to digest what another person is about. People are interesting, and talking about them is not always a waste of time. The linchpin is the intention that you have when talking about other people. If you are attacking someone out of mean-spiritedness and to gain power over that individual, you must be bored or looking to “stir trouble” like the quote above says.

    I agree with the above mentioned quote in how they draw attention to the fact that not understanding someone should bring you to asking more questions. This is really true, because most of the time other people are misunderstood simply for lack of information. This is not something to capitalize on with gossip, but rather an opportunity to learn more about something that you don’t understand. A popular old adage states “don’t hate what you don’t understand”.

    In school and work situations, there will always be times when people will say or do things that you don’t agree with. It is during these situations that it is healthy to vent about the outcome of a certain conversation or event. The distinction to be made, however, is between attacking someone’s character and attacking their words or behaviours. There are relevant points and there are irrelevant points when talking about other people. If you are trying to capture them as an individual with pros and cons, this is usually a better approach than trying to twist them into a character with only cons. Most people are not evil, so spreading rumors and creating a monster out of someone else is simply mean and counter-productive.