1210212.us16.myftpupload.com Managed WordPress Site

Tag: help

  • Bullying Is Everyone’s Problem

    Bullying Is Everyone’s Problem

    There is no doubt that bullying is a problem which has been around for a long time – within all forms of human interaction, there have always been those that not only feel superior to others but feel the need to demonstrate this at any cost. Where bullying was once mostly confined to the schoolyard, now more and more children are plugged in to the internet. This has made the problem significantly worse, becoming more insidious, dangerous and sometimes even fatal.

    By now, most people will have heard about the B.C. girl who, having been relentlessly bullied for a number of years online, combined with her allegedly fragile state of mental health, felt it was necessary to end her own life. Sadly, she is certainly not the first to do this and will not be the last. While it is impossible to find any shred of positivity in the current situation, the fact is that social media allows more people to become aware of the severity of the problem. Although bullying will likely never be completely eliminated, this may lead to concrete measures being taken to severely diminish it over time.

    While it is obvious that the bully and the bullied are the central players, the problem of bullying is far-reaching, affecting family, friends, entire schools and workplaces. It is no surprise that the majority of people who are aware that some form of bullying is taking place are more likely to ignore it rather than take action. However, it is a fact that by becoming involved, whether simply standing up to the bully on behalf of the victim or making friends with the victim (who are often in great need of friends), the bully will think twice about his or her actions. Of course, this is not always the case and sometimes a greater degree of intervention is needed.

    The first step for anyone being bullied, or for those that suspect it is happening to someone, is to speak up. It is widely believed, particularly among kids, that ‘telling’ is akin to ‘tattling’ which is just not the case. The fear also may be that by telling someone they may inadvertently make the problem worse by angering the bully. While this is a genuine concern, it certainly should not be a reason to remain silent. Making bullying known through Facebook or some other form of social media may not always be the best idea as this can leave the victim open to even more abuse and torment from anonymous comments made by online bullies and ‘trolls’. Even if the victim is reluctant to speak up, they can still get support through one of the many anti-bullying organizations that exist online such as www.kidshelpphone.ca, www.pinkshirtday.ca and www.antibullying.net.

    While it is obviously the victim of bullying that requires the most immediate help, one shouldn’t forget that by letting them continue their behaviour, the bully’s future can also be put in jeopardy. It is rare that a bully simply bullies for the sake of it and by getting help early on they can avoid problems later in life. According to Free From Bullies, 60% of adults aged 18-24 who once bullied end up with criminal convictions, a fact that can have an effect on society and the economy as a whole.

    There is no simple solution to the problem of bullying and it is very sad that even adults who should know better can be just as guilty as children. The problem will not be stamped out overnight, but through talking, understanding and, most importantly, taking action, we can make small steps to fight back.

  • Would You Benefit from a Tutor?

    Would You Benefit from a Tutor?

    Many students will experience difficulties with academic subjects at some point during their academic career, but all universities provide some type of resources to help during those times.

    Professors are probably the best people to ask when you need some clarification about something, but they usually have limited office hours. In that case, your school’s resource centre is your best bet to finding more accessible help. Hiring a tutor through your school also means a higher likelihood that the person is a reputable tutor and could even be offered at a subsidized cost to you.

    You can find a tutor outside of your school, but consider taking the extra time to ensure the person you hire is in fact knowledgeable in the field and understands the tutee/tutor relationship in order to be worth the money you are paying.

    “I think it depends on how much help one needs as a tutee. If one is lagging behind in a class and wanting to catch up, then tutoring will be helpful as it re-teaches the material; but if one needs tutoring for a specialized personal need or wants to excel in an area, then tutoring is only useful if the tutor is competent and one-on-one, and most tutors are not competent enough for that”, said Virginia Zhao, 4th year UBC student.

    “To that effect, I don’t find tutoring helpful in most situations. When I need help, instead of asking for a tutor, I ask for ‘higher authorities’ such as teachers [and] professors…they are more helpful and efficient than peers” continued Zhao.

    For more specialized purposes, such as wanting to start building a foundation for a particular career while still in school, you might consider working with a mentor. Mentors – whether you work with them in your job or at school – have proven to expand knowledge, help narrow down focus and improve decision-making in their mentees.

    Colleges and universities might have mentorship programs in place where students are carefully matched to their mentors to ensure both parties will gain value from the experience. If a student is even more certain about what they want to do when they finish post-secondary they should consider becoming members of the related associations and join programs where mentorship is available.

    “My mentor was easy to get along with and was very helpful in refining my technical skills” Marko Martic, IT Diploma graduate from BCIT, said. “I Kept in touch with my mentor even after I was done my program and he introduced me to a network of people in my field that eventually helped me find my job”.

    “Maybe one day I’ll have the opportunity to be a mentor and help someone like my mentor helped me – there are always mentees looking for mentors and more people will see the benefits once they get into it” Martic said.

  • Using Kids Help Phone

    Using Kids Help Phone

    Everyone has those days where they may be feeling a little down or are dealing with something scary or sad. Sometimes, on days like those, you just need someone to talk to! On the other hand, you may have questions that you just feel too embarrassed to ask your parents or friends. It is good to know that there is a place you can go to – whether it’s picking up a phone or going online.

    Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868) is a free service for all youth up to the age of 20. The phone lines are open 24/7 and you can remain anonymous and discuss anything you wish to in complete confidentiality. The agency does not have caller ID display and you do not have to leave your name. If you are hesitant to call in, they also offer advice via their website – www.kidshelpphone.ca. Ask your question online!

    The website provides valuable information on topics such as dating, bullying, family, friends, school, mental health, violence, abuse, money and so much more. I looked up the topic “Bullying” on their website and it listed many different types (physical, emotional, social, cyber-bullying, etc.). I also learned that if you are victim of bullying, you should always tell someone, whether it be your teacher, parents, friends or even someone at Kids Help Phone. The next important tip I read on this topic was to make sure that I stay safe by taking the necessary steps to protect myself as much as I can. If the bully is targeting you when you are alone, try to walk with friends and keep in the company of others when at school. Try to avoid the person and, again, reporting this person is the best course of action to take.

    Take a look at the website and browse the topics which offer so much advice and reading material on the daily issues that may be a part of your life right now. There is also a forum in which you can see other readers’ questions and posts under any topic. The best part is that a counsellor from Kids Help Phone responds to the posts, so you know you will be getting great advice. This may help you if you are going through a similar life event or situation. Just remember that this service exists for a reason – to help kids know that there is someone out there who cares and wants to listen. Even if you feel that you don’t need to call this number right now, it is helpful to keep the number handy by putting it in your cell phone or writing it down somewhere. No question or concern is too little, so feel welcome to use Kids Help Phone at any time!

  • No More Bullying

    No More Bullying

    In elementary school, everyone is undergoing changes developing themselves in different ways. Because of the pressures of growing up, some people learn to adapt and cope in successful ways, such as by finding an outlet for their emotions in activities like competitive sports, clubs, or even just seeking friendship and support from others. Unfortunately, some people have negative coping mechanisms that lead them to find more destructive outlets for their emotions. Sometimes a negative coping mechanism will reveal itself as bullying. This bullying can take many forms, from verbal abuse to stealing from people and even to physical abuse. Bullying is a problem that needs to be addressed with the bully and with the victim because both are affected.

    When people are bullied they can feel sad and left out, as well as feel that they have something wrong with them that results in the bullying. If you are being bullied, the most important thing to remember is that it is not your fault that you are being picked on. It may not be safe to confront the bully themselves, but by informing your principal, teachers, parents and friends, you can create a support network to protect yourself from the person or people that are harassing you. Also remember that the law is on your side when it comes to bullying and any evidence that you can get for proving that the person or people are harassing you will be invaluable. Try to have a friend present with you at all times so that you have a witness and a protector.

    The person or people who do the bullying have emotional wounds themselves that need to be addressed by a counselor or other qualified professional. Most of the time bullies have problems at home or problems with other aspects of their life story that is causing them to act out in negative ways. These people may be viewed as “bad people” but the reality is that they probably have a serious insecurity or deep emotional wounding that is preventing them from growing up in a healthy way. By talking to someone about their feelings, they can start to heal.

    By reporting a bully, you are doing everyone a favor because that person is probably bullying more people than just you. This negative situation may be painful for you, but don’t worry –  bullying is becoming more and more of an important issue in schools, so when you do speak out it will be received by a well-prepared audience.

    Remember that you are not alone and your voice will be heard.

  • How to Cope When a Family Member is Sad

    How to Cope When a Family Member is Sad

    Everybody gets sad every once and a while, but sometimes people get sad for prolonged periods of time that can last for days, weeks or even months. This is something that has been labelled by doctors as depression. If this is something that one of your family members is suffering from, whether it be your sister, brother, mother or father, or even your aunt or uncle or cousin, you may feel affected by it. Commonly, family members who are depressed may isolate themselves from the rest of the family or seem to always be in a bad mood. Sometimes, as someone who cares about that person, you might start to take their bad mood or their distance as though it is due to something that you’ve done, so you might find yourself taking the blame for it. As soon as you realize that you are starting to feel differently around that person and to have feelings of guilt or blame, you need to talk to someone so you are not negatively affected.

    You will feel some negative feelings as a result of your family member’s suffering because you care about them, but you need to be sure that you will not fall down with them. In order to cope with a depressed family member, the first thing you want to do is firmly implant the belief in yourself that you are not to blame for whatever they are going through, that what they are going through is entirely their own issue, and something that you will not be able to solve. The second part is very important. You need to be sure that you believe that you are not responsible for their healing. It is not your responsibility to ensure that your family member recovers from their period of depression. You may still care a lot about them, and you may still wish them the very best, but it is by no means your responsibility to ensure that they get happy or get back to being themselves.

    Once you believe that you are not to blame and are not responsible for their healing, you can develop more practical measures for coping with their illness. Try strategies like being out of the house when they are home and spending time with friends who care and support you. Having friends that you can confide in about the situation that your family member is in will be essential for nourishing your belief that you are not to blame and that you are not responsible for their recovery. You want to be sure that you are well supported in order to ensure you do not fall into feeling guilty or even depressed yourself. Also, connecting with other members of the family about the issue, if possible, is great for supporting yourself because this is something that is affecting everyone in your family, not just the person who is depressed.

    If you feel you need someone else to talk to, you can always call Kids  Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 or talk to them online at www.kidshelpphone.ca

  • What to Do if Your Teacher is a Bully

    What to Do if Your Teacher is a Bully

    Wouldn’t it be great if all teachers were devoted to educating their students and dedicated to encouraging them? Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

    If you are under the supervision of teacher whose behavior has crossed the line into bullying, there are things you can do to stop it. Discussing your concerns with the teacher in question and the head of his/her department, filing a formal complaint with your school and in the most extreme case, asking to be transferred to another class are just a few of your options.

    Many students think that they will never be believed if they bring a complaint against a teacher, but don’t let these unfounded fears stop you. Bullying by a teacher is unacceptable behavior, and no student should be subjected to it.

    What Is Teacher Bullying?
    It’s easy to get on a teacher’s bad side, or for a teacher to get on your own, but this does not mean that the teacher is a bully. Bullying behavior by a teacher includes behaviors such as:

    • Degrading comments about a student.
    • Unwanted or hostile physical contact with a student.
    • Unwanted or suggestive physical contact with a student.
    • Inappropriate or lewd remarks made to a student.
    • Suggesting to a student that his/her grade depends on something other than his/her studies.

    What Is the First Step to Stopping Teacher Bullying?
    If you feel that your teacher is a bully, the first step is to tell someone. This could be your parents, your principal or another teacher that you trust. If you are afraid to speak out, calling Kids Help Phone will get you in touch with people who can help you through this process. Remember – you are not alone and there is help available!

    Teacher bullying is unacceptable and must not be tolerated. If you feel that you are being treated poorly, but are uncertain if you are being bullied by your teacher, confide in a trusted adult.

     

  • Reasons to Use Kids Help Phone

    Reasons to Use Kids Help Phone

    Kids Help Phone is a free, anonymous resource that is there for you 24/7. Its purpose is to give young people someone to talk to when they feel they have no one who will listen to them. It is important to know that there are people who care and want to help you with any problems you may have. Kids Help Phone has many uses – here are just a few.

    1) You need an objective opinion or want to ask questions anonymously.
    If you need to talk with someone who will listen to what you’re going through, and you don’t trust or want to speak to friends or family, then the Kids Help Phone is a great resource for you. Sometimes you don’t want the people closest to you to know what it is that you are feeling or thinking about. It may be because of a fear of losing their respect or simply of changing the image that they have of you. Whatever your reason, speaking with someone who is trained and knowledgeable on how to handle the information you will share with them is often a good option. When you call the Kids Help Phone you can rest assured that the information will remain confidential, unless it involves information that must be reported to the police (such as reporting a threat to your own or someone else’s life).

    2) You are undergoing a traumatic period in your life and would like support.
    Sometimes we suffer because of life’s circumstances, and in this case it is really important to talk with people about what you are going through. You may not want to talk with friends or family because you feel they may not understand, but with Kids Help Phone you can talk to a person who has been trained in dealing with emotional crises. They will be able to talk to you about relationships, sexuality, drugs and alcohol, eating disorders or anything else that you feel is affecting you.

    3) You want to speak with someone who will listen to you.
    Often in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, there is so much going on that we can feel ignored or that we don’t matter. It can be very hard to find someone who will just listen to what it is that you are going through. The time rarely comes up where you feel it is okay to pour out your soul, and because of this you can be left with some important issues bubbling just under the surface. It is important to “vent” and to talk about your life and what sorts of challenges you are facing.

    4) You need to report an incident.
    If you don’t feel comfortable speaking directly to the police or don’t know what to do after an incident, the people at Kids Help Phone will listen and help you to deal with the situation. This can range from bullying, an incident of physical or sexual abuse or a crime like theft.

    5) You are in a crisis and need to talk to someone as soon as possible.
    If you are feeling that you are in a crisis and are having thoughts of suicide, a counselor at the Kids Help Phone will be a great person for you to speak with. They can help to “talk out” your problem and ensure that you get the assistance you require. Remember that you are never alone! Suicide is not the answer. Reach out to someone at Kids Help Phone and they will be there for you when you feel no one else is.

  • The Bully, The Bullied and The Bystander

    The Bully, The Bullied and The Bystander

    There is a dangerous notion of what normal is for today’s young person, defined in part by media images, Hollywood and reality television. The rest in a cocktail definition is pieced together by those with a voice and a platform. Whether that platform is prom queen or king, fashion icon or cultural diva, it matters little for the message is clear from wherever it is preached; normal is what normal does and if you don’t fit the mold you do not fit in.

    The reality is that you either fit in or you are cast out. As long as you have a group to fit into, life should pace itself to the rhythmic meter that is everyone else’s. This is the important distinction. Friendship circles do not have to mimic each other, in actuality the only common factor they might have is the willingness to accept each other. What happens when there is no peer group that accepts you? What does a young person do when no one extends welcome and isolation creeps in? Suffer in silence? Dig deep for resilience and self-respect? Perhaps, but the number of suicides in this country has reached an all-time high. More and more teenagers are choosing to end their lives rather than fight for them.

    Why?

    The simple answer is that bullying is also on the rise, but this is an unsatisfactory conclusion. Bullies have always existed. Cruel pranks and hurtful words are nothing new. So why the percentage increase? It comes down to one thing, neither small nor easy to fix – the internet. Cyber-bullying is an emerging form of cruelty that is wreaking havoc on many a teen life and there is little to no awareness on the part of parents and teachers. Think of how fast gossip used to travel before Facebook, text and Twitter. We may live in the age of technology, but when it comes to human decency it appears we are in the dark ages. Kindness, acceptance and grace for our mistakes do not seem to exist.

    Barbara Coloroso, international speaker, author and expert on the topic of bullying, says bullying is about contempt; putting one down to build the bully up. She also asserts that bullying is a learned behaviour and that home is where children first learn how set their moral compass. Those who are bullied typically remain secretive about it. They don’t want their parents to think of them as weak and are afraid of retaliation. They endure while quietly losing themselves. The bystander is the one who watches the bullying and does nothing to prevent it. They may even contribute with laughter or taunts. Bystanders are usually afraid of bullies as well and may have low self–esteem. They worry about becoming a target themselves or go along with the bully for lack of a better option. Even if a bystander would never bully on their own, by not stepping in they are picking the side of the bully and in essence enabling them.

    It is too late to care after the fact. A suicide is not the time to ‘tsk’ the sad situation or wish something had been done about it. Kind words for those around us, a smile, inclusion and a willingness to see into the heart and soul of a person will make a difference. The greatest desire in all of our hearts is to be known.

    We all need to have a story. What do you want to do in the future? What are your goals? What would you like to get better at and how can you make that a reality? When we have a story we have focus on the horizon and all that lies ahead, which makes the daily struggles a little easier to endure.

  • Bullying Is Everyone’s Problem

    Bullying Is Everyone’s Problem

    There is no doubt that bullying is a problem which has been around for a long time – within all forms of human interaction, there have always been those that not only feel superior to others but feel the need to demonstrate this at any cost. Where bullying was once mostly confined to the schoolyard, now more and more children are plugged in to the internet. This has made the problem significantly worse, becoming more insidious, dangerous and sometimes even fatal.

    By now, most people will have heard about the B.C. girl who, having been relentlessly bullied for a number of years online, combined with her allegedly fragile state of mental health, felt it was necessary to end her own life. Sadly, she is certainly not the first to do this and will not be the last. While it is impossible to find any shred of positivity in the current situation, the fact is that social media allows more people to become aware of the severity of the problem. Although bullying will likely never be completely eliminated, this may lead to concrete measures being taken to severely diminish it over time.

    While it is obvious that the bully and the bullied are the central players, the problem of bullying is far-reaching, affecting family, friends, entire schools and workplaces. It is no surprise that the majority of people who are aware that some form of bullying is taking place are more likely to ignore it rather than take action. However, it is a fact that by becoming involved, whether simply standing up to the bully on behalf of the victim or making friends with the victim (who are often in great need of friends), the bully will think twice about his or her actions. Of course, this is not always the case and sometimes a greater degree of intervention is needed.

    The first step for anyone being bullied, or for those that suspect it is happening to someone, is to speak up. It is widely believed, particularly among kids, that ‘telling’ is akin to ‘tattling’ which is just not the case. The fear also may be that by telling someone they may inadvertently make the problem worse by angering the bully. While this is a genuine concern, it certainly should not be a reason to remain silent. Making bullying known through Facebook or some other form of social media may not always be the best idea as this can leave the victim open to even more abuse and torment from anonymous comments made by online bullies and ‘trolls’. Even if the victim is reluctant to speak up, they can still get support through one of the many anti-bullying organizations that exist online such as www.kidshelpphone.ca, www.pinkshirtday.ca and www.antibullying.net.

    While it is obviously the victim of bullying that requires the most immediate help, one shouldn’t forget that by letting them continue their behaviour, the bully’s future can also be put in jeopardy. It is rare that a bully simply bullies for the sake of it and by getting help early on they can avoid problems later in life. According to Free From Bullies, 60% of adults aged 18-24 who once bullied end up with criminal convictions, a fact that can have an effect on society and the economy as a whole.

    There is no simple solution to the problem of bullying and it is very sad that even adults who should know better can be just as guilty as children. The problem will not be stamped out overnight, but through talking, understanding and, most importantly, taking action, we can make small steps to fight back.

  • Using Kids Help Phone

    Using Kids Help Phone

    Everyone has those days where they may be feeling a little down or are dealing with something scary or sad. Sometimes, on days like those, you just need someone to talk to! On the other hand, you may have questions that you just feel too embarrassed to ask your parents or friends. It is good to know that there is a place you can go to – whether it’s picking up a phone or going online.

    Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868) is a free service for all youth up to the age of 20. The phone lines are open 24/7 and you can remain anonymous and discuss anything you wish to in complete confidentiality. The agency does not have caller ID display and you do not have to leave your name. If you are hesitant to call in, they also offer advice via their website – www.kidshelpphone.ca. Ask your question online!

    The website provides valuable information on topics such as dating, bullying, family, friends, school, mental health, violence, abuse, money and so much more. I looked up the topic “Bullying” on their website and it listed many different types (physical, emotional, social, cyber-bullying, etc.). I also learned that if you are victim of bullying, you should always tell someone, whether it be your teacher, parents, friends or even someone at Kids Help Phone. The next important tip I read on this topic was to make sure that I stay safe by taking the necessary steps to protect myself as much as I can. If the bully is targeting you when you are alone, try to walk with friends and keep in the company of others when at school. Try to avoid the person and, again, reporting this person is the best course of action to take.

    Take a look at the website and browse the topics which offer so much advice and reading material on the daily issues that may be a part of your life right now. There is also a forum in which you can see other readers’ questions and posts under any topic. The best part is that a counsellor from Kids Help Phone responds to the posts, so you know you will be getting great advice. This may help you if you are going through a similar life event or situation. Just remember that this service exists for a reason – to help kids know that there is someone out there who cares and wants to listen. Even if you feel that you don’t need to call this number right now, it is helpful to keep the number handy by putting it in your cell phone or writing it down somewhere. No question or concern is too little, so feel welcome to use Kids Help Phone at any time!