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  • How to Handle a Fight at Home

    How to Handle a Fight at Home

    Life as a student can be stressful enough—the last thing you need is trouble at home. Unfortunately, family fights are normal every once in a while. It’s undeniably difficult to deal with a strained situation in your home life, but remember that a loud argument is often indicative of a deeper, underlying issue between members of your family. Instead of trying to avoid conflict, it’s best to work out your issues honestly and openly.

    Sometimes a fight at home can be between you and a parent, a sibling, or another relative—or sometimes it can have nothing to do with you altogether. Both situations are tough to deal with. Regardless of the situation, it’s best to stop a fight before it goes too far, and everyone ends up hurt. Consider my advice with an open mind, because it might not apply to all circumstances, but some of these tips may be worth considering the next time you find yourself in the middle of an argument. Here’s some help for handling a fight at home.

    Stay calm. Personally, whenever I am in an argument with my family, I get very emotional, and find it difficult to keep my voice down. From this, I’ve learned the importance of staying calm, even when you’re extremely upset. I cannot stress this enough: if you stay calm, you’ll be able to handle a tough situation easier. Don’t let stress and anger take over.

    Talk it out. Voice your concerns, and be honest. If you’re angry with your mother for not respecting your privacy, or with your brother for always leaving his dirty clothes in your room, tell them how you feel. Be respectful when you give your opinion, though, and make sure everyone has a chance to tell his or her side of the story. But if you let a fight fizzle out without confronting it at the source, you might be in for a repeat.

    Don’t blame yourself. If a fight doesn’t involve you, the best course of action may be to stay out of it altogether. But make sure you understand that if your family is arguing, it’s probably not because of something you did. The members of your family are people too, and it’s normal for them to get frustrated sometimes. Make sure you understand the different reasons a fight can happen—you don’t always have to be responsible.

    Compromise. Not everyone’s going to get what they want from a fight. Sometimes, someone has to back down in order to resolve the conflict (even if that someone is you). Make sure, though, that giving in or getting your way doesn’t become a permanent pattern. Compromise when you have to – and sometimes you’re going to want to.

    Best wishes to all of your families. Stay close.

  • Using Kids Help Phone

    Using Kids Help Phone

    Everyone has those days where they may be feeling a little down or are dealing with something scary or sad. Sometimes, on days like those, you just need someone to talk to! On the other hand, you may have questions that you just feel too embarrassed to ask your parents or friends. It is good to know that there is a place you can go to – whether it’s picking up a phone or going online.

    Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868) is a free service for all youth up to the age of 20. The phone lines are open 24/7 and you can remain anonymous and discuss anything you wish to in complete confidentiality. The agency does not have caller ID display and you do not have to leave your name. If you are hesitant to call in, they also offer advice via their website – www.kidshelpphone.ca. Ask your question online!

    The website provides valuable information on topics such as dating, bullying, family, friends, school, mental health, violence, abuse, money and so much more. I looked up the topic “Bullying” on their website and it listed many different types (physical, emotional, social, cyber-bullying, etc.). I also learned that if you are victim of bullying, you should always tell someone, whether it be your teacher, parents, friends or even someone at Kids Help Phone. The next important tip I read on this topic was to make sure that I stay safe by taking the necessary steps to protect myself as much as I can. If the bully is targeting you when you are alone, try to walk with friends and keep in the company of others when at school. Try to avoid the person and, again, reporting this person is the best course of action to take.

    Take a look at the website and browse the topics which offer so much advice and reading material on the daily issues that may be a part of your life right now. There is also a forum in which you can see other readers’ questions and posts under any topic. The best part is that a counsellor from Kids Help Phone responds to the posts, so you know you will be getting great advice. This may help you if you are going through a similar life event or situation. Just remember that this service exists for a reason – to help kids know that there is someone out there who cares and wants to listen. Even if you feel that you don’t need to call this number right now, it is helpful to keep the number handy by putting it in your cell phone or writing it down somewhere. No question or concern is too little, so feel welcome to use Kids Help Phone at any time!

  • Gossip Is Bad For You

    Gossip Is Bad For You

    Gossip is something that is very prevalent in high school, generally due to all of the changes that people are going through. With any luck, gossiping will diminish as you grow up and move on with your life. It is a type of conversation that is not very productive in terms of creating positive change in communities, and in fact is often the source of a lot of unnecessary harm and pain.

    An interesting quote I read recently said: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds gossip about people. Life is much too short to be lived talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up trouble that has no substance. If you don’t understand someone, ask questions. If you don’t agree with them, tell them. But don’t judge them behind their back to everyone else” –Entrepreneur Secrets 2012.

    This quote draws attention to the fact that there are often conversations that you would rather avoid, because they are nothing but mean-spirited and a waste of time. I disagree with the quote because I think that there is a time and a place for gossip. Often talking about other people is a way of understanding the social world that we live in, which is just as important as understanding anything else. Sometimes not talking about other people is a mistake because you don’t have an opportunity to digest what another person is about. People are interesting, and talking about them is not always a waste of time. The linchpin is the intention that you have when talking about other people. If you are attacking someone out of mean-spiritedness and to gain power over that individual, you must be bored or looking to “stir trouble” like the quote above says.

    I agree with the above mentioned quote in how they draw attention to the fact that not understanding someone should bring you to asking more questions. This is really true, because most of the time other people are misunderstood simply for lack of information. This is not something to capitalize on with gossip, but rather an opportunity to learn more about something that you don’t understand. A popular old adage states “don’t hate what you don’t understand”.

    In school and work situations, there will always be times when people will say or do things that you don’t agree with. It is during these situations that it is healthy to vent about the outcome of a certain conversation or event. The distinction to be made, however, is between attacking someone’s character and attacking their words or behaviours. There are relevant points and there are irrelevant points when talking about other people. If you are trying to capture them as an individual with pros and cons, this is usually a better approach than trying to twist them into a character with only cons. Most people are not evil, so spreading rumors and creating a monster out of someone else is simply mean and counter-productive.

    So resolve to stop the bad gossip in 2013!