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Category: Advice

  • I’m Afraid my Mental Illness will Hold Me Back…

    I’m Afraid my Mental Illness will Hold Me Back…

    I can’t stress enough how crippling it is to have a mental illness. The stigma surrounding it doesn’t help either, especially with admitting you have one or even seeking help to get better.

    When it came to my first year of university, I did not acknowledge that I had a mental illness. I went through the motions and got terrible grades, convincing myself it was all in my head and that I would make it on my own, which made things worse. I never told anyone why I needed to stay at home sometimes and couldn’t speak to anyone and I felt ashamed because I stayed at home to begin with.

    Second and third year hit and that was when things really started to get bad for me. I had to take a leave of absence, for reasons unknown to me at the time. When I finally got into therapy I realized that it was because I was depressed. Coupled with anxiety and OCD, I had to leave school and work through the rest of my year feeling like I had let everyone down.

    But everyone was very supportive. My professors told me there was nothing wrong with taking some time off, and some of them even told me that they had gone through depression themselves and understood completely my need to leave. My friends stood by my side and not one of them told me what I had feared they would: that I was a failure.

    Your mental illness will, if it hasn’t already, keep you from doing the things you want to do once in a while. You won’t feel like leaving the house or you’ll get very emotional or you’ll just feel like the pressures of keeping good grades and a social life going is too much to handle.

    I think something no one told me was that it was okay to leave school. So many of my friends told me how they wished they had taken a year off rather than continue and let their grades suffer or feel like their mental health was suffering.

    But, if your mental illness precludes you from doing certain things, that’s okay. If you can’t give a presentation because of your anxiety or you can’t write essays on time or you need someone to take notes for you, it’s okay. There are places on campus to help with accommodations for you and there’s nothing wrong with cashing them in.

    If you ever feel like your mental illness has stopped you from doing anything then you need to speak to someone so you can have someone to talk to, to dispel all the negativity that you’ve failed. If you need to take time off, do it. If you need more time to finish something, ask your professors. It’s normal to need some time for ourselves, especially if you have a mental illness, and there are so many people who are willing to accept that and help you with what you need; don’t be afraid.

  • Trouble at Home is Distracting Me At School…

    Trouble at Home is Distracting Me At School…

    With so much happening around us and with so many different parts of our lives to participate in, it can be difficult to give school the focus it deserves. One of the most all-consuming distractions can be trouble at home, when the place that is supposed to be your safe haven is upsetting or unaccepting. There will be many situations and people that you can’t control. The important thing to remember is that YOU CAN control how you handle it.

    Here are some exercises you can work on to help maintain a healthy separation between home life and school life:

    Imagine the reality you wish to have.
    Think about what the opposite of your situation would be, and make that happen at school. For example, if you’ve had an argument with someone at home, make an effort to compliment a friend or potential friend at school. Reverse the damage done and treat a peer how you wish you had been treated, or treat a peer the way you wish you treated that family member at home if you weren’t proud of your reaction. This projection of positivity and warmth will make you feel empowered.

    Don’t complain.
    It’s good to have friends to confide in and you should be able to vent, but dwelling on home life can drive people away and make you yourself feel worse as it promotes anger and discontent. You can’t control that part of your life; you can only control yourself and what you want. In the end, being angry is exhausting and can leave you feeling empty.

    Build relationships with role models.
    Often trouble at home can leave you feeling like you’re without guidance. Do you have a teacher at school you admire and respect? Build a relationship with them. Take book recommendations, ask them for advice from time to time, and surround yourself with positive role models and friends who display qualities you yourself wish to possess. Quality in-school relationships will leave you associating education with a sense of well-being.

    Create a feel-good playlist.
    I know all too well the feeling of leaving home in the morning for school feeling worn down and angry. To turn things around, start to think of ways you can cheer yourself up on the way to school. One way is to create a playlist for your iPod that will help put you in a feel good mood. Get yourself dancing, or get yourself calm and collected. Music is a great way to get out of your head and into your body.

    Get involved.
    Join an extracurricular activity; find a leadership or teamwork role that you love. By creating a world at school that you’re excited about, you’ll more easily be able to separate problems at home from the way you handle daily school life. Find something to be involved with in which you feel important, but that involves a hobby; something that doesn’t feel too much like work, but makes you feel needed. This will give you something to look forward to when things are rough at home.

  • Tips for Taking a Test

    Tips for Taking a Test

    As an elementary school student, your teachers use different strategies to help you learn. Whether it’s a classroom activity or a field trip, there are various ways for you to participate and engage with the material. But what happens when your skills are put to the test?

    Test-taking is something you will have to get used to. It is especially important in high school and university, where tests are worth more and more marks and can have a big impact on your final grades. Beyond the number on your report card, tests are valuable because they challenge your skills. They require you to apply what the teacher has taught you to make sure that you know your stuff.

    It might be more stressful to write a test than to participate in an activity or a field trip, so it helps to go into the process prepared. Here is some advice for taking a test at each stage of the process.

    BEFORE

    When a test is announced, pay close attention to the instructions given by the teacher. They will probably explain how the test will be structured, what material might be on it, and other hints that will help you when you’re studying. Make sure to mark the date well in advance, and designate some time in the days leading up to it for review.

    Studying is definitely about quality, not quantity—you can study for hours and not register anything useful if you are distracted, pay attention to the wrong concepts, or try to memorize everything verbatim. Keep this in mind when you’re going over your notes, and ask your teacher for help if you need it.

    DURING

    Stay calm: remember, you came prepared. When you get the test, look over all the questions and take a few minutes to come up with a plan. You only have a limited amount of time, and some questions will be more lengthy or challenging than others. Do you want to tackle those first, or get the easy ones out of the way instead?

    The test environment can be very stressful and distracting for some students. Try to stay focused on your own paper and pay no attention to what others are doing. Feel free to take tiny breaks to refocus if you need them, but keep one eye on the clock. You don’t want time to run out before you finish!

    AFTER

    Reflect on how you felt during the test. Was it easy, difficult, or somewhere in between? Were the questions what you expected? Consider what you did well this time, and what you can improve upon when the next test comes around.

    Many students choose to compare opinions about tests, or grades after they are handed back. You can definitely do this if it’s productive for you, but don’t feel pressured to disclose anything if you don’t feel comfortable. Sometimes, talking about grades can make students anxious or self-conscious. Focus on yourself: don’t spend too much time worrying about how everyone else did.

  • What is Empathy?

    What is Empathy?

    You sit at your desk. Your nerves get to you. The teacher is handing back that major test. Whether the mark is a pass or fail, it hits with assurance when the paper lands in front of you. But you are not alone. There are two dozen other students also at their desk, also nervous, also about to get struck with a grade.

    The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows (www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com ) features the word sonder: The realization that everyone around you is living a life just as full and complex as yours; you might only notice students in the hallway from the corner of your eye, but that is also exactly how they notice you.

    If you focus on the latter part, the thought is a somber one. However, by focusing on the notion that every life around you is just as complex as your own, you can work on a skill often sorely lacking and rarely taught: empathy.

    Part of empathy is to know what a certain person is feeling. When a fellow student misses the ball in gym class and everyone laughs, you can understand that they are embarrassed. You learned the word at a young age and have experienced it for yourself. However, because our emotions are so hardwired to our own experience, we need to go a step further to fully empathize with that student.

    The other part of empathy is to understand why a certain person is feeling the way they do. This requires trying to figure out their perspective. That student woke up that morning with hopes for the day just like you. They said goodbye to their parents just like you did, and have plans for after school just like you. They did not plan on this moment to arise and torment them.

    By putting this into practice, you will react better to the behaviours that affect you. When you are doing a group project, it is easy to get angry with the partner who is not doing their fair share of work. If you can figure out their perspective, and see how they are struggling with the material, or have personal issues at home distracting them, you can find more effective ways to work through the problem.

    Now, back to that major test; if it is a subject you excel at, the mark may make you want to brag. If it is not, you may want to cover it in shame. Meanwhile, the mark of the student next to you may evoke feelings of envy or mockery. Remember to challenge your perspective. You may dominate classic literature, but that student who failed next to you may dominate when measuring angles. The smartest person in the room always depends on what room you are in.

    By practicing empathy, you can feel better about your own faults, and more easily work through issues with others. By making it a habit, it will help you through school and beyond.

  • Getting Your 40 Hours of Community Service

    Getting Your 40 Hours of Community Service

    As you know, all high school students need to have 40 hours of community service in order to graduate. Use this information to discover where your 40 hours can best be used.

    Volunteer Centres work in local communities to strengthen volunteering and citizen engagement. With more than 200 in Canada, each volunteer centre’s name, size, structure and services reflect the unique characteristics of their community.

    To find a volunteer centre in your area, click here.

    Many volunteer centres are independent non-profit organizations, while others are part of a United Way, Social Planning Council, Community Information and Referral Centre or municipal services. Though diverse in many ways, they share the following common functions:

    • Promote volunteering
    • Build the capacity of organizations to engage volunteers
    • Facilitate connections between people with volunteer opportunities
    • Provide leadership on issues related to volunteering and citizen engagement

    If you want to volunteer, your local volunteer centre is there to connect you to opportunities in your community. It may have a database of volunteer opportunities or can connect you directly to opportunities within its member organizations.

  • OSAP: The Basics, Application and Concerns

    OSAP: The Basics, Application and Concerns

    What is OSAP? If you are an up and coming post-secondary student in Ontario, you might have already heard about OSAP. The acronym stands for Ontario Student Assistance Program. It is a government-run program to help post-secondary and mature students finance their education. You can apply for OSAP when you are ready to go to college, or university. It has helped many students (all over Canada, as well) get the extra money they need in order to achieve their educational goals. OSAP is specifically for Ontario students, but the government also has assistance programs for each province in Canada. It can be used for tuition costs and living costs. Other than paying tuition, you need a place to live, and money to buy things like groceries and personal items- OSAP will help you get by. Along with money you have saved yourself from working, parents, or rich uncles, you will be on your way to accomplishing your goals with OSAP. OSAP also gives you a chance to gain credit history by making payments each month while in school, or after school. It is important to start building a good credit record at a young age; for it will help you obtain things like a house or car in the future- every bit counts!

    Application:

    It is easy to apply to OSAP. All you have to do is go to the OSAP website and fill in the application, and make sure you are qualified to receive funding. However, there are some limiting conditions when applying for OSAP. Your total household (parents and you) income can only reach a certain amount. This varies from situation to situation, but if the household income is too high, OSAP may state that you do not need their help, or you will get a very low amount of funding. The Ontario Ministry of Training, Colleges and Universities’ website has a well-rounded list of requirements you should read before applying. If everything matches up, you’re in the gold. You can apply to any post-secondary institution in the world and receive OSAP, but it has to be approved by OSAP, first. Ontario.ca states that you will also receive an automatic 30% tuition discount when you apply.

    Link to register for OSAP: https://osap.gov.on.ca/OSAPSecurityWeb/public/registration.xhtml?lang=en

    Maximum funding for a full-time student:

    For one academic year:

    • single, no dependents: $12,410
    • married or common-law or sole-support parent: $19,210

    (stated September 30th, 2015)

    Paying it back:

    All students that receive OSAP must pay it back; essentially, it a very low-interest loan. It can be rough, paying student loans back. Sometimes, depending on your career trajectory, you may be paying back your OSAP for years. I know of college and university professors that still haven’t paid back all their OSAP! The truth is that if you get it, it will be haunting you until it is all paid back. It will be the little itch in the back of your head that you won’t quite satisfy. In an article called “The Misuse of OSAP Money” from The Sun, a student named Joe Brown states that “When you’re 17-18, you don’t think about paying it back in four or five years.”[1] This can be true for many eager students. It is up to you to be responsible, and set yourself up for the best results. If you think it might be a better idea to work for a year or more before going to college, do it. The reality is debt can make you feel like a slave to money. If you save up a decent amount of money for yourself and have OSAP as a backup, great. If you need the maximum amount of OSAP and even more money to go to school, you may want to consider working for a while. Everyone has a choice, so don’t feel pressured by anyone else but yourself!

    Sources:

    [1] http://www.torontosun.com/2012/05/20/the-misuse-of-osap-money

  • Are You the Subject of a Nasty Gossip? How to Turn Things Around

    Are You the Subject of a Nasty Gossip? How to Turn Things Around

    Today, gossiping can be considered a national pastime. There are several reasons why people gossip. One is that people who engage in gossip feel privileged. Imagine seeing your not-so-favorite teacher in the middle of the road with a flat tire, cursing like a sailor. You can’t wait to share this with those who feel the same way about that teacher. It’s like you have the inside scoop and you’re telling everyone that this not-so-favorite teacher is not prim and proper after all.

    Another reason why people spread gossip is so they can feel better about themselves. Just picture getting into an exclusive movie premiere and you see a girl you don’t really like waiting desperately at the door to get in. You may feel it is not enough to see her like that—you want your friends to know you saw her in that situation, and you will probably even make something up, like she was being hysterical and bawling like a baby.

    However, what happens when you become the subject of a hurtful gossip? You’ll probably realize then, that gossip has an ugly side. Here are three ways to turn things around when the shoe is on the other foot:

    1) Find people who have your back. Don’t wallow in self-pity. Instead, talk to family, friends, and classmates who know the real you. Don’t hold anything back. Tell them that you are hurt by the rumor, and they will most likely provide you a shoulder to cry on. Eventually, with the right amount of support, you will find the strength to move forward.

    2) Confront the person who is spreading the rumor. If you have a clear idea of who is spreading gossip about you, talk to that person in a calm manner. Don’t flare up since this reaction may be something that he or she is waiting for. Instead, try to figure out why they are doing what they are doing and explain your side of the story. It could have been a simple case of miscommunication or misunderstanding.

    3) Let it die a natural death. If the gossip isn’t going away even after you have talked to the person who is spreading it, it would probably be best to ignore it and move on. At times, silence is the best defense. However, it is a different story when you feel you are being bullied; report the person to school authorities ASAP. Eventually, gossip that doesn’t elicit a reaction will die a natural death. What you can do for the meantime is to avoid gossiping yourself and lead by example. Remember to THINK when you feel the urge to gossip about other people. Is the story Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary, and Kind? If it is not any of these things, then stop.

    SOURCES:

    http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-science-of-gossip/

    http://www.2knowmyself.com/How_to_deal_with_people_who_gossip_about_you

    http://www.wsj.com/articles/what-to-do-when-you-are-the-subject-of-office-gossip-1412701581

    http://inspire99.com/10-deeper-ways-to-deal-with-a-rumor-gossip/

    http://www.youngandraw.com/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-gossip-in-a-positive-way/

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200810/the-8-laws-rumor-spread

  • Can’t Go Offline? Three Smart Tips for Online Safety

    Can’t Go Offline? Three Smart Tips for Online Safety

    Can you imagine life without the Internet? While it offers advantages when it comes to learning and communication, it also gives a way to possible danger. It’s likely for you to come across people with bad intentions in forums, online communities, and social networking sites. These people prey on the youth’s desire for a sense of belonging, acceptance, romance, or sexual curiosity. These malicious people would pretend to offer a sympathetic ear, but in actuality, they are practicing emotional manipulation. An online relationship may ensue that could possibly lead to a physical meeting in the future. In the online kingdom, everyone can be anonymous if they choose to be, so predators can be anyone. A CBC.ca report last April states a 16-year-old boy lured young girls into having online romantic relationships with him.

    As such, whenever you go online and talk to people other than your relatives, friends, or classmates, consider these wise tips to ensure your safety:

    1) Watch out for signs of predatory behavior.

    It is okay to engage in conversations and chat about common interests like favorite or most hated subjects, music, movies, and TV. It is not okay when you are asked things like “What are your best features?” or “What do people like about your physical appearance?” While these questions sound casual, they can lead to completely inappropriate questions or requests. As such, once you find yourself even a bit uncomfortable, stop the conversation, and log off.

    2) Set your privacy settings correctly.

    For sure, your parents or friends have warned you about posting your home address and phone number in your social networking accounts, and they are right. Another thing to remember though is that when you post a status or a photo, make sure that only your friends or followers can see it. And while it is tempting to use the “check-in” feature and tag the pals you are with when you are in an exclusive event and such, it is best to avoid this. Remember, whenever you tag anyone, those who are connected to them will see your post. For instance, if your buddy’s classmate from years ago has been obsessed with you for years and sees that check-in post, you may get a stalker in return.

    3) Don’t take pictures you don’t want your parents/grandparents to see.

    Taking selfies are fun, but when they end up in the wrong hands, you would probably think twice about taking them in the first place. You may have the trickiest PIN code or password there is but keep in mind these cybercriminals probably have the sophisticated technology to hack into your gadgets and take whatever they find there. Let last year’s celebrity hacking scandal serve as a lesson. The bottom line is, technology is continuously evolving and so are cyberhackers, so always think twice before clicking to take that selfie.

    So how do you ensure your safety online? Well, you don’t have to go back to the dark ages and throw out your iPhone or laptop. All you have to do is be aware of your surroundings, what you say, and what you post. You don’t have to share everything with everyone all the time. Be mysterious and take pride in your privacy!

    SOURCES:

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/nova-scotia-child-porn-case-highlights-dangers-of-online-friendships-1.3028837

    http://www.netsmartz.org/InternetSafety

    http://www.covenanteyes.com/2012/01/03/7-dangers-of-the-internet-for-kids/

    https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/5-myths-and-truths-about-kids-internet-safety-122964460683.html

    http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2013/nov/03/internet-children-parents-safety

    http://nobullying.com/dangers-of-the-internet/

     

  • Starting Your Own Business in High School

    Starting Your Own Business in High School

    Every year as soon as the weather is nice enough, young businesspeople begin to earn money at lemonade stands around the country while they also learn a bit about what it takes to work with products and customers. Later, in high school, students can learn many of the basics of running a business and possibly begin to earn money to use for university, trips to other countries, or special things that they want to buy.

    Running a lemonade stand is a relatively simple kind of business, with only one product and just a few ingredients. Running other businesses can be much more complicated, however, and they can take up a lot of time and effort. If you are considering starting a business, you should make sure that you want to spend hours every week building up the business, finding customers, and taking care of supplies and anything else that you need.

    Many different options are open for high school students who want to start a business. Lawn care and snow shovelling are good for people who like being outside, and pet sitting is good for anyone who likes animals. Other options include grocery delivery, house cleaning, technical support for computers, and even teaching. Almost any business is possible for people with the time and skills and imagination.

    If you have an idea that you could turn into a business, the first step is write out a business plan of what you want to do and how you intend to do it. This step involves doing research to find out about your possible customers, the costs of your materials or tools, and anything else that you need to know. You will need to decide whether to work with another person or alone and make many more decisions about how to run your new business.

    Even if you end up working alone at your business you can get help in setting it up and getting it established. Some universities and other schools offer summer programs for students to learn how to become entrepreneurs, and information is always available at business centres and schools. Taking courses in business management is a good idea, even if you still have several years to go before you finish high school.

    Knowing the technical and financial aspects of running a business is important, but knowing how to deal with people is also essential. Most business programs include advice on business etiquette and customer relations techniques that can help business owners to deal with customers without driving them away. You can also learn some of these techniques on your own or by talking with established business owners.

    Do you have a business idea that you would like to pursue? Maybe you can already start, even in high school or earlier. You never know what might develop in the future, and even a bad experience can help you learn what you need to know to become a successful business owner.

    Bibliography:

    Alberta Learning Information Service.” Occupational Profile Motorcycle Mechanic.”

    http://occinfo.alis.alberta.ca/occinfopreview/info/browse-occupations/occupation-profile.html?id=71003095.

    Canada One. “Starting a Business in Canada.” http://www.canadaone.com/tools/startingabusiness.html.

    Ordoñez, Silvana. Summer camp teaches high school students to start their own business.”

    http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2011-08-08/business/fl-escape-camp-20110808_1_entrepreneurship-summer-camp-high-school-students-business.

    Services for Youth. “Starting Your Own Business.” http://www.youth.gc.ca/eng/topics/jobs

    http://sbinfocanada.about.com/od/businessideas/a/summerjobbiz.htm /business.shtml.

    Ward, Susan. 10 Best Small Business Ideas for Students.” http://sbinfocanada.about.com/od/businessideas/a/summerjobbiz.htm.

     

  • Put Down Your Device; Taking a Break from Your Phone

    Put Down Your Device; Taking a Break from Your Phone

    I received my first cell phone when I was 10 years old. It was an old-fashioned flip phone with a traditional number pad (the kind you have to press repeatedly to switch letters around if you want to text). It was to be used to contact my parents and let them know where I was, or otherwise, in emergencies… not that I really had anyone else to call, anyway. At the time, few kids my age had—or really needed—their own phone. I faithfully carried the device around in my backpack, but seldom took it out of its pocket.

    Years later, I have upgraded to more modern smartphone technology. My device allows me to organize meetings, set schedules and due dates, and synchronize and back up data with my other devices. With my phone, I can get in touch with anyone I want at any time, whether by calling, texting, or using social media. I have incorporated this device so seamlessly into my daily routines that when something goes wrong—lack of battery power, signal loss, etc.—I am left completely disoriented. Truth be told, it is now very difficult to imagine life without my phone.

    “Unplugging”, or taking a break from your device, might seem like more of a burden than a blessing; however, powering down offers its fair share of benefits. Spending hours playing games on your device (and likely avoiding other more important tasks) is not a very productive use of time. Furthermore, texting or scrolling down newsfeeds can actually be an extremely impersonal way to communicate with another person. You might find that you enjoy someone else’s company much more without your device to distract your attention all the time.

    There is nothing wrong with using a cell phone, but consider turning it off or leaving it at home every once in a while. Here are some suggestions for avoiding cell phone dependency:

    Set your limits. Decide how long you want to go off the grid. If a whole day without checking your phone seems daunting, start with an hour (which shouldn’t be too hard!).

    Have alternatives ready. Your phone is supposed to make certain things easier for you, but there’s no reason you can’t find ways to do these things on your own too. For instance, you might not necessarily need to add a couple things to your electronic shopping list—try to remember what you need or just jot it down instead.

    Make it fun. Ever heard of the dinner-table game that makes the first person to check their phone pay the cheque? You can turn powering off into a fun activity or competition. This is also a great way to involve your friends (and let them know you aren’t just ignoring their texts).