Tag: bullying

  • Bullying Is Everyone’s Problem

    Bullying Is Everyone’s Problem

    There is no doubt that bullying is a problem which has been around for a long time – within all forms of human interaction, there have always been those that not only feel superior to others but feel the need to demonstrate this at any cost. Where bullying was once mostly confined to the schoolyard, now more and more children are plugged in to the internet. This has made the problem significantly worse, becoming more insidious, dangerous and sometimes even fatal.

    By now, most people will have heard about the B.C. girl who, having been relentlessly bullied for a number of years online, combined with her allegedly fragile state of mental health, felt it was necessary to end her own life. Sadly, she is certainly not the first to do this and will not be the last. While it is impossible to find any shred of positivity in the current situation, the fact is that social media allows more people to become aware of the severity of the problem. Although bullying will likely never be completely eliminated, this may lead to concrete measures being taken to severely diminish it over time.

    While it is obvious that the bully and the bullied are the central players, the problem of bullying is far-reaching, affecting family, friends, entire schools and workplaces. It is no surprise that the majority of people who are aware that some form of bullying is taking place are more likely to ignore it rather than take action. However, it is a fact that by becoming involved, whether simply standing up to the bully on behalf of the victim or making friends with the victim (who are often in great need of friends), the bully will think twice about his or her actions. Of course, this is not always the case and sometimes a greater degree of intervention is needed.

    The first step for anyone being bullied, or for those that suspect it is happening to someone, is to speak up. It is widely believed, particularly among kids, that ‘telling’ is akin to ‘tattling’ which is just not the case. The fear also may be that by telling someone they may inadvertently make the problem worse by angering the bully. While this is a genuine concern, it certainly should not be a reason to remain silent. Making bullying known through Facebook or some other form of social media may not always be the best idea as this can leave the victim open to even more abuse and torment from anonymous comments made by online bullies and ‘trolls’. Even if the victim is reluctant to speak up, they can still get support through one of the many anti-bullying organizations that exist online such as www.kidshelpphone.ca, www.pinkshirtday.ca and www.antibullying.net.

    While it is obviously the victim of bullying that requires the most immediate help, one shouldn’t forget that by letting them continue their behaviour, the bully’s future can also be put in jeopardy. It is rare that a bully simply bullies for the sake of it and by getting help early on they can avoid problems later in life. According to Free From Bullies, 60% of adults aged 18-24 who once bullied end up with criminal convictions, a fact that can have an effect on society and the economy as a whole.

    There is no simple solution to the problem of bullying and it is very sad that even adults who should know better can be just as guilty as children. The problem will not be stamped out overnight, but through talking, understanding and, most importantly, taking action, we can make small steps to fight back.

  • Don’t Be THAT Girl

    Don’t Be THAT Girl

    Your hair is so ugly! Did you gain weight? Have you heard some of these or other worse things uttered in the hallways? Were you the one who said some of those nasty things? A recent article from the New Zealand Herald found that 85 per cent of teenage girls have experience some sort of bullying. The most shocking thing is that when it comes to girls, some of this bullying is coming directly from their friends.

    If you’re the victim of a friend’s torment you may be blaming yourself first and bringing unnecessary doubt and confusion to yourself. Rachel Simmon, author of Odd Girl Out, found “one of the chief symptoms of a girl’s loss of self-esteem is the sense of being crazy, of not being able to trust one’s own interpretation of people’s actions or events”. If you don’t understand why your BFF is turning on you, it may be her problem – not yours.

    Now, if you’re on the other side of the equation and are part of bullying, please think about your actions. It’s a false position of power to be the bully. Girls may form cliques and have their own way of dressing, talking or sharing of a secret. Leora Tanenbaum states it simply in her book Catfight, “the ironic thing about being included is that it necessarily entails exclusion”.  Bullies need to ask themselves why they are excluding others. There isn’t a guarantee that you’ll stay in the exclusive clique forever; you may just end up being the outcast.

    Some would tend to think that bullying would involve violence, but this isn’t always the case. Getting a group of friends to ostracize, say hurtful things and spread rumours about you are all forms of bullying too.

    The one thing someone being bullied should do is also the thing they will most likely avoid: it’s important to talk to your parents about what you’re experiencing. If you’re too scared to do that, you should talk to an adult you trust. Sometimes, it’s beyond your own control when it comes to bullying. It’s important to let someone in a position of authority know what’s going on. High school should be a place that will give you four years of great memories, not something you should dread.